I'm Gay and You're Not:
Understanding Homosexuality Fears
OCD Takes Many Forms
Straight versus Gay people who have anxiety
Before such treatment, HOCD is all terror and rant. I am now going to type two imaginary rants. The first will be by a straight male who has HOCD. The second will be by an gay male who is in the closet but has no HOCD. Can you see the difference?
EXAMPLE
Diagnostic Puzzle
STRAIGHT MALE HOCD SUFFERER:
I know that I am gay, but I have only ever gotten hard with girls. This must be because I am in the closet, and I know that I'll suddenly get hard with guys once I come out. But the thought of being with another guy makes me sick. Damn, gay stuff is so disgusting! I'd never want some naked guy to touch me that way. But my mind tells me that this is what I want, and that I'll be O.K. with it once I come out because I am gay. But I'm not gay! But my mind tells me I am. Dammit, why won't my mind shut up? I do all this checking by looking at gay porn, and I still don't know what I am. But I just want to look at hot women instead. I have never been attracted to guys, but I know I am a gay guy. This anxiety is killing me. I can't even hear the word gay without becoming anxious.
GAY MALE IN THE CLOSET WITH NO HOCD:
I know that I am gay, and I have only ever gotten hard with guys. I am in the closet because I am afraid people will reject me, yet I have always wanted with everything in me to fall in love with another man who loves me back. That would be so beautiful. I was taught that gay stuff was disgusting, but when I think of being held by a man I get butterflies in my stomach. When I see a guy I like, it just feels right. The only anxiety I feel is over what others think of gays and how I think I'll be treated by straight people in power if they find out about me. I don't feel any anxiety when I think about how lucky gay guys who are out of the closet must be, and I wish I could be like them.
The second rant is what I would have said many years ago. The first rant is what I hear on the board. When I saw rants like the first one last November, I knew that I was not dealing with gay folks at all.
Source:
I'm Gay and You're Not:
Understanding Homosexuality Fears
OCD Takes Many Forms
http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay2.php
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