Don't miss this joke.
Before marriage
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you hug me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you beat me up?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!
After marriage - - -
simply read the above conversation from bottom to top.
Source:
jokesduniya.com
for-sex-deprived-husband-humorous
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.
But then the wife stops and says, "I don' t feel like it.
I just want you to hold me."
The husband says " WHAT???"
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her
shopping at a big dept. store.
He walks around and had her try on
three very expensive outfits.
And then tells his wife, We 'll take all
three of them. Then goes over and gets
matching shoes worth $200 each. And
then goes to the jewelry Dept. and
gets a set of diamond earrings.
The wife is so excited (she thinks her
husband has flipped out, but she does not care).
She goes for the tennis braceoet.
The husband says "but you don't even
play tennis, but OK if you like it
then lets get it. 'The wife is
jumping up and down. So excited
she cannot even believe what is going
on. She says " I am ready to go,
lets go to the cash register. "
The husband says, " no -- no -- no, honey
we ' re not going to buy all this stuff."
The wife face goes blank.
"No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says." You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!!!!!!!!"
Source:
India Jokes :Husband Wife Joke
send-health-record
HOW TO PROVIDE YOUR MEDICAL CASE RECORDS on the Internet to one or more doctors?
How is your medical case history transmitted on the internet to get expert opinion from another doctor? The answer is MDMS.
How is your medical case history transmitted on the internet to get expert opinion from another doctor? The answer is MDMS.
What is the Google Health Data API feed?
With this open source software one can can create, view, send, request for medical case history. I prefer to use MDMS, Medical Data Management System, as abbreviation for this tool.
MDMS enables a person any where in the world to provide medical data to get personalized medical help from a doctor.
If you change the doctor, or seek second opinion, the same medical data can be made available to another doctor.
The format of your medical data is defined by the medical industry. (see CCR)
The Google Health data API supports a subset of the CCR. CCR ("Continuity of Care Record") is a format defined by the medical industry. The CCR is primarily designed to facilitate the transfer of a snapshot of a patient's medical history when that individual moves from one medical provider to another. In the case of Google Health, a partner site can send a patient's CCR to Google. Given the proper user permissions, another partner site can then download that person's CCR.
How do I start?
If you're new to the Google Health Data API, here's how we recommend you get started:
1. Get familiar with the Google Data protocol.
2. Read the Google Health Developer's Guide.
3. Refer to the Reference Guide, as needed.
4. Read about the supported CCR element
Source:
http://code.google.com/apis/health/
Health Data API - Google Code
smart-wife-jokes
"Julia," asked Mary thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman?"
"Another woman with MY husband?" Julia thought it over.
"Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."
ATM=AnyTimeMoney
14 FEMALE RULES
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which
was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing
the misunderstanding.
KISS
8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the
female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be
angry or upset.
12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants
him to be calm, angry or upset.
13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
14. The female always has the last word. [Except when the male ends up saying, "Sorry"!]
"Another woman with MY husband?" Julia thought it over.
"Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from."
ATM=AnyTimeMoney
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which
was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing
the misunderstanding.
KISS
"I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor."
"Nonsense,
yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife
and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it?"
"Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."
8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the
female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be
angry or upset.
12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants
him to be calm, angry or upset.
13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
14. The female always has the last word. [Except when the male ends up saying, "Sorry"!]
is-madness-in-your-family
Madness and Geniuses
Despite evidence of a link between genius and madness, no one has proved that such a link exists. Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depressive Psychosis)is often seen in the family tree due to hereditary genes. Scientists at the University of Toronto have discovered that
Jordan Peterson, University of Toronto psychology professor says,"This means that creative individuals remain in contact with the extra information constantly streaming in from the environment. The normal person classifies an object, and then forgets about it, even though that object is much more complex and interesting than he or she thinks. The creative person, by contrast, is always open to new possibilities [source: University of Toronto]."
This means creative people possess little to no "latent inhibition."
Latent inhibition is the unconscious ability to reject unimportant or irrelevant stimuli.
- John Nash (1928 - )
- Vincent van Gogh (1853 - 1890)
- Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)
- Ludwig van Beethoven (1770 - 1827)
- Sir Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727)
What is common between them?
HowStuffWorks has selected these as Top 5 Mad Geniuses See Jane McGrath's article
Some of the world's most renowned creative minds, including writers Mary Shelley, Virginia Woolf, and Ernest Hemingway; composers Irving Berlin and Sergey Rachmaninoff; and painters Paul Gauguin and Jackson Pollock are all believed to have suffered from the illness [source: Patient Health International].
these mad geniuses -- the famous thinkers and artists who may have experienced mental illness. First, we'll inspect the modern case of John Nash, whose schizophrenia has been sensationalized by Hollywood. Here you can take a closer look at the profiles of these eminent people: HowStuffWorks "Top 5 Mad Geniuses" by Jane McGrath
In fact, some scientists claim that a far greater percentage of creative types (poets, painters, musicians and the like) have been afflicted with bipolar disorder (manic depressive psychosis) than the general population.
9-Year-Old Math Genius Goes to College source REUTERS VIDEO
Watch this video about a 9-year-old math genius that is going to college. March Tian Boedihardjo is a true child prodigy, a math and statistics genius who was recently enrolled at Hong Baptist University; this makes Boedihardjo the youngest student ever to be admitted to the university. See how… (August, 2007)
bad-girls-jokes
Clean jokes
Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...Technorati Tags: girl jokes, humor
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"
Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.
Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.
Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.
Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.
Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.
Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.
Good girls love Italian food...
Bad girls love Italian waiters.
Adult Good Girl, Bad Girl Jokes, Dirty Good Girl, Bad Girl Joke, Funny Good Girl, Bad Girl Jokes
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