divorce-humor

Die worse can be worse than divorce.
[image© mydoctortells]
Humor to jestify.


SPECIALLY CONTRIBUTED BY NAIMISHA

So the story goes, titled
DIE-VORCE!!!

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,"
He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,
And she's a far better lover than you are."

MOST ACCIDENTS ARE CAUSED BY MEN. MOST MEN ARE CAUSED BY ACCIDENTS.

Again the wife stays quiet,
But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.

Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.

65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive bridge over deep sea.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the fence of the bridge at speed of 65 mph,
The wife turns to him and smiles.
"The water jacket."

Moral of the Story :

Women are clever!!!

Don't mess with them!!


Just smile and pass this on to those who need a laugh!!!

SPECIALLY CONTRIBUTED BY NAIMISHA


And here is the rest of it.
MORAL OF THE STORY

• A dumb wife is always better than a clever wife.
• 
  Never make love with your neighbor's wife, however dumb she be. [Except when you are sure your clever wife is 900 miles away]
• 
  Carry good condoms that do not leak, but make sure air bags/water jackets are punctured in 16 places.
• 
  If still confused go to the Mayo clinic, Dept. of Psy.
• 
  For more tips and tricks ASK THE DOCTOR.

(I apologize for screwing up moral of the story.)

Dr. Ashok Koparday
_{MBBS, FC SEPI}
Medical Director
Samadhan India
Center for Therapy, Education, Research in
Sex, Marriage, Relationships

Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College and K. E. M. Hospital and
Grant Medical College and Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals
University of Mumbai, India

ASK ON MOBILE

ASK SEX DOCTOR IN "POST A COMMENT BOX" BELOW

my-sex-doctor

To have
DOCTOR ON MOBILE
insert the link below IN YOUR MOBILE PHONE BROWSER
http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/qggS

Click here for FREE DOWNLOADS 24 x 7
SEX MATTERS

---

PRIOR APPOINTMENT IS ESSENTIAL


[Privileged Access]

---

ASK THE EXPERT
Private, Personal Intimate Matters.







GUIDANCE FOR TEENAGERS

1must know this

2 see this

3check this

4 for teenagers

5how teenage changes happen

~ PARENTS OF TEENAGERS ~
NEWLY MARRIED ~ SEX DIFFICULTIES ARISING DUE TO DISEASES LIKE DIABETES ~ BETTER TREATMENT ~ BIRTH CONTROL ~ SEX MEDICINES ~ SEX POSITIONS/TECHNIQUES ~ WHAT TO KNOW BEFORE MARRIAGE ~ RELATIONSHIPS PROBLEMS ~ HUMOR XXX SEX PICTURES AVAILABLE ON REQUEST XXX ~ || sex mantra ||


This is what you require.





Correct knowledge is a blessing.
Sexual Health is neglected for centuries by doctors.
Let us combine aesthetics with correct scientific understanding of sex related matters. We are privileged to have sensuous, fulfilling sexual life.

Husband-Wife

Specially fromincharge kalwasaraswatbank
Date: Oct 24, 2007 6:27 PM
It is just for logic only!
Men's Logic

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case.

The Problem was who should get custody of the child.

The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child
into the world with all the pain and labor.

The child Should be in my custody. "

The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your
defense?"

The man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If
I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out... Whose
Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine ?"

Humor-Love-Affairs

Humorous-Affairs

message
From: Hemant Inamdar
Date: Oct 31, 2007 5:24 PM
Subject: Affairs


The 1st Affair:


A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they
fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and
rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf .. again !"
------------ -------



The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about
having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look
at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around
behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"
------------ -------
The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a
startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever
seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to
be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for
posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"
------------ -------
The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the
front door."Hurry, " she said, "stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so
much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a
sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days
at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
------------ -------
The 5th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a
bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
------------ -------
The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your
best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
--
YAD BHAVAM ! TAD BHAVATI !!
You Become What You Think !