DEFINITION (1) A mammal found extensively throughout the planet, often clustered in groups in front of television sets. Thought to be a member of Homo Sapiens due to physical similarities, though social and emotional behavior leads many researchers to consider Teenagers to be a completely different species altogether. Very territorial.
I found some good definitions.
A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was no where to be found. Undaunted, she went outside ...
... find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."
The females, on the other hand, sport striking colors under their eyes, throughout their hair, and on the tips of their fingers. Females often attract males by wearing garments to accentuate chest development. Males indicate their approval by staring at the display. The call of the female is complex and shrill: "Like, O m'Gosh! O m' Gosh!" Males are less vocal, signaling to other males with a salutatory "Yo. Yo. Yo. S'up? S'up? S'up?"
Teenagers line their nests with discarded undergarments. The females hold telephone receivers to their ears an average of six hours a day. When challenged for possession, they snarl and warn intruders, "I'm doing my HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK. My HOMEWORK." The males lie immobile for hours at a time, conserving energy and listening to violent electronic signals from radios. Male Teenagers concentrate on important information by rolling their eyes, shrugging, kicking dirt and sighing. Females burst into tears and slam doors. Many Homo Sapiens families have a host-to-parasite relationship with one or more than one Teenager. These host families often develop a resistance to the parasite, rejecting them some time in the eighteenth year of life. Often, though, this rejection is merely theoretical, with the Teenager continuing to live off of the host Homo Sapiens family for many years afterward, often at great sacrifice.
DEFINITION (2) Of, relating to, and especially EXPLAINING irrational, intolerable, or inexplicable behavior. ("She's a Teenager.")
DEFINITION (3) A request for sympathy, offered by adult parents to each other in support. ("I have a Teenager at home.") Often accompanied by sighs, head shaking, tongue clucking, and shoulder shrugging.
DEFINITION (4)Teenager (noun)
Teenagers are extraordinarily social animals, seeking contact with their peer groups to such a great extent they will forgo family, chores, food, and responsibility. The males of the species forage for food constantly and can consume three times their weight every day. When in full plumage, the males are usually drab, marked by loose fitting garments which slide off their backsides and look ridiculous.
Other Teenager Definitions
DEFINITIONS(5)
A TEENAGER IS...
- A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.
- A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
- A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.
- Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.TO TOP OF THE POST
- A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
- A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver's license.
- A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music--loud and very loud.
- An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
- A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.
- A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
- A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
- A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
- An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
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source
courtesy
http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/family/teenager.shtml
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