tonic-for-feeling-great-humor

TONIC FOR HEALTHY LIVING

• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
• Life is sexually transmitted.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him
• a sandwich.
• Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet
• and they won't bother you for weeks.
• Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't
• help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...
• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
• All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
• Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
• saves you thirty cents?

Thanks to lotsofjokes

women-men-differences-4

MANTRA

FOR IMPROVING HUSBAND WIFE RELATIONSHIP
DON'T: Criticizing is a sure poison.
DO'S: The secret for beatific relationship between (HUSBAND) man and (WIFE)woman is to ACCEPT THE DIFFERENCES AND RESPECT THE INDIVIDUAL

Women have peculiar ways.Their body chemistry and neuronal circuits of men and women are different. Women have different attitude, choices, opinion, belief.
You may never understand why a woman likes to
watch particular serials on TV (when you want to watch cricket/soccer),
chat on PC,
talk for hours on phone. It is not necessary to understand her
shopping frenzy,
compulsive gossip,
fear of cockroach,
Tarot (Also parrot reading - in India) reading, horoscope, belief in paranormal-ET-extraterrestrial.

For healthy relationships between [husband] man and [wife]woman, it is not NECESSARY to understand. Just RESPECT her individuality and give her space to live her personal life. Let there be NO COMPLAINTS, 'no blame game'.

BOTTOM

• * Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
• * Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
• * Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
• * Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
• * Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
• * Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
• * Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.
• * Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
TOP | BOTTOM
• * Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
• * Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
• * Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
• * Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.
• * Women think all beer is the same.
• * Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
• * Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
TOP | BOTTOM
• * If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
• * Women brush their hair before bed.
• * Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
• * Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
• * Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
• * Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'
• * Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
• * The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
• * Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
TOP | BOTTOM
• * Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
• * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
• * Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
• * Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.
• * Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
• * PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.
• * The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.
• * Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
• * Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.
TOP | BOTTOM
• * 'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
• * Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.
• * Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
• * All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.
• * If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
• * Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.
• * Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.
TOP | BOTTOM
• * If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)
• * Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
• * Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
• * Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
• * Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
• * It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.
• * Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
• * The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!'

TOP

Thanks to lotsofjokes.com

women-men-differences-3

Just dying to get a rock hard penis is not enough to sustain a marriage.
HUMOROUS differences between Men and Women

When the differences between man and a woman are glaringly obvious, my dear man, how did you imagine that you can satisfy a woman by having longer, thicker, rock hard cock, keep the lovemaking prolonged for 15 to 20 minutes as in blue films, and by repeating sexual intercourse again successively for the second and the third time?
TO OPEN YOUR EYES here are funny examples.

NICKNAMES

If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.
GUY
But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.
WANT JUST ONE MORE SHORT JOKE, CLICK AND GO?

EATING OUT

And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
GIRLS
When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS

MAN
A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
WOMAN
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES

WOMAN
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things.
MAN
A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES

WOMAN
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.
MAN
A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS

WOMEN
Women love cats.
MEN
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP

WOMAN
A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
MAN
A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
WANT ONE SHORT JOKE, CLICK AND GO?

LAUNDRY

WOMEN
Women do laundry every couple of days.
MAN
A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING

WOMAN
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
MAN
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
WANT JUST ONE MORE SHORT JOKE, CLICK AND GO?
Source:
With thanks to Aha! Jokes

MEN DO IT DIFFERENTLY

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Gas (at either end) is cool.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

Courtesy LotsofJokes
Thanks to http://www.lotsofjokes.com/reasons_guy.asp

Dr. Ashok Koparday
_{MBBS, FC SEPI}
Medical Director
Samadhan India
Center for Therapy, Education, Research in
Sex, Marriage, Relationships

Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College and K. E. M. Hospital and
Grant Medical College and Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals
University of Mumbai, India

ASK ON MOBILE

ASK SEX DOCTOR IN "POST A COMMENT BOX" BELOW

women-men-differences-2

To believe is a humorous simple, short example. . .

HAIRCUT

The FUNNY STORY
FOR OTHER BEST FUNNY JOKES CLICK HERE

Women's version:

Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men's version:
Man2: Haircut?

FOR OTHER BEST FUNNY JOKES CLICK HERE
Source:
Aha! Jokes

Dr. Ashok Koparday
_{MBBS, FC SEPI}
Medical Director
Samadhan India
Center for Therapy, Education, Research in
Sex, Marriage, Relationships

Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College and K. E. M. Hospital and
Grant Medical College and Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals
University of Mumbai, India

ASK ON MOBILE

ASK SEX DOCTOR IN "POST A COMMENT BOX" BELOW

penis-size

Erect penis: LENGTH 4.23 inches GIRTH 4.85 inches

penis-size-increase

penis-size-indian-men

do-i-have-premature-ejaculation

love-story

Love Story
Special Story Sent by Sangita Inamdar. Don't miss.

LOVE

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in"

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!! !"

Dr. Ashok Koparday
_{MBBS, FC SEPI}
Medical Director
Samadhan India
Center for Therapy, Education, Research in
Sex, Marriage, Relationships

Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College and K. E. M. Hospital and
Grant Medical College and Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals
University of Mumbai, India

ASK ON MOBILE

ASK SEX DOCTOR IN "POST A COMMENT BOX" BELOW

best-cure-erection-problems-without-medicines

Erection problems
"i am 37years old having some erection problems... can u suggest any house remedies for full & tight erection?"
-- Anonymous, United Kingdom


BEST CURE FOR ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION WITHOUT MEDICINES

HONEY MOON
Nothing can replace another playful honey moon. Rather than sex as the goal, keep 'carefree fun and outing' as the theme of this picnic.

MIS CONCEPTIONS YOUR DANGER ZONE
Drive away the ghosts of thoughts like, “What will she think of me if I am not able to . . .?”; “Will she think that I am not a good lover if . . .?”. Remember once for all that she never measures love by the size or the erection of your penis. She is not the penis thirsty porn girl of the blue films. It is a misconception projected by the blue films. She is not thirsty of full erection and insertion, but of full romance and pure love.

THE BEST THING FOR ERECTION
The best thing for erection is a willing and cooperative partner. Cultivate romance by using the right keys of intimacy. In love making the sex mantra is more shamelessness and secrecy for her. This brings fullest erection in you.

---

IMPORTANT HOME REMEDIES EVERY MAN MUST KNOW

---

Mood generation, by choosing the place, lighting, the perfume, the lingerie are important for arousal so too, specific variations in sex play (such as fellatio) immediately kick in powerful erections in men.

SEX JOY THERAPY
Sensate focus therapy, non genital erotic play, or the Sex Joy Therapy of Samadhan Center of Sexual Sciences brings full erection. Sex joy therapy distills sensuous pleasure and removes the interfering brain signals thus bringing about full erection using your own power.

PERMISSION FOR SSM
Giving permission to oneself to enjoy sexually stimulating content (triple X movies, erotic stories) is part of sex therapy. It enriches 'fantasy' that contributes to fantastic erections.

SEX TONIC
'Anything that is good for the body is good for sex' is simple rule for choosing sex tonic. Thus, physical exercise becomes the top most health tonic. Pelvic floor muscle exercises are added to this.

BEST FOOD FOR IMPROVING SEX
Intake of nutritious food such as germinating pulses and grams, raw, cleaned vegetables , fresh fruits, green leafy vegetables and soy bean chunks, which is the richest source of edible proteins is beneficial to sex.

ALCOHOL
Alcohol enhances erection and sexual joy, if taken in such amount that removes inhibitions.

IMPORTANT MEDICAL FACT
Remember that if some time or the other in the last two months if you have had good erection even once, even when alone, while masturbating, or while watching blue film or just after waking from sleep (nocturnal penile tumescence) then the sexual apparatus between your legs is absolutely fit and capable of full erection. Knowing this scientific fact boosts confidence, which enables you to have powerful erections.


Dr. Ashok Koparday
_{MBBS, FC SEPI}
Medical Director
Samadhan India
Center for Therapy, Education, Research in
Sex, Marriage, Relationships

Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College and K. E. M. Hospital and
Grant Medical College and Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals
University of Mumbai, India

ASK ON MOBILE

ASK SEX DOCTOR IN "POST A COMMENT BOX" BELOW