jokes-men-women-oscar

The clearest explanation for the failure of any marriage[4]


is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. Anna Quindlen
[3]

º MEN º WOMEN ºMEN WOMEN º PEOPLE º LIFE º LOVE

GO TO BOTTOM

Men

"No man is rich enough to buy back his past."

"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."

"Men become old, but they never become good."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"I delight in men over seventy, they always offer one the devotion of a lifetime. "
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"How many men there are in modern life who would like to see their past burning to white ashes before them!"
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is invariably plain."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"Nowadays all the married men live like bachelors and all the bachelors live like married men."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I don't like compliments, and I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn't mean."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

Women

"One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"Men know life too early. Women know life too late. That is the difference between men and women."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."
-- “The Sphinx Without a Secret”

"It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"I don't know that women are always rewarded for being charming. I think they are usually punished for it!"
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"I don't think there is a woman in the world who would not be a little flattered if one made love to her. It is that which makes women so irresistibly adorable."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"My dear young lady, there was a great deal of truth, I dare say, in what you said, and you looked very pretty while you said it, which is much more important."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Women give to men the very gold of their lives. But they invariably want it back in such very small change."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I am sick of women who love one. Women who hate one are much more interesting."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”
GO TO TOP
GO TO BOTTOM

Men Women

[2]

[5]

1. Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
2. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
3. Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
4. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
5. If we men married the woman we deserve, we should have a very tedious time of it.
6. In married life three is company and two is none.
7. A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
8. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
9. Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
10. As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
11. A woman will flirt with anyone in the world, so long as other women are looking on.
12. She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
13. A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

GO TO BOTTOM

People

"People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately."
-- Letter from Paris, dated May 1900

"The more one analyses people, the more all reasons for analysis disappear. Sooner of later one comes to that dreadful universal thing called human nature."
-- “The Decay of Lying”

"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing."
-- “The Soul of Man Under Socialism”

"Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualification."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

Born:16th October 1854, Died: on 30th November 30, 1900.
Full Name: Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie
Parents: His mother Jane was a poet, while his father, Sir William Wilde, was prominent Irish surgeon. Both parents were prolific authors so it was no surprise that he inherited such literary talent.
GO TO BOTTOM

Life

"Life is much too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it."
-- “Vera, of The Nihilists”

"The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden. It ends with Revelations."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Life is never fair...And perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"You must not find symbols in everything you see. It makes life impossible."
-- “Salome”

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."
-- “The Duchess of Padua”

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

GO TO TOP

_Love

"Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman - or the want of it in the man."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"A kiss may ruin a human life."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"Young men want to be faithful and are not; old men want to be faithless and cannot."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect - simply a confession of failures."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

º MEN º WOMEN ºMEN WOMEN º PEOPLE º LIFE º LOVE

GO TO TOP

Source
[1]The Official Website
The Official Web Site of Oscar Wilde
[2]guy-sports.com

[3]Timeless Relationship Wisdom
http://historyofwit.blogspot.com/2005/04/timeless-relationship-wisdom.html
posted by Dorion Sagan

[4]Oscars lining up - Flickr
All rights reserved Anyone can see this photo
* Taken with a Sony DSC-N1.
More properties
* Taken on February 8, 2006
jclushlife's photostream

[5]Oscar statue Image credit copyright
WatchinDworldGoBy' s photostream
All rights reserved Anyone can see this photo
* Taken on September 2, 2008


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why-husband-stopped-sex

steve-jobs-inspiring-story-life-and-love-video

Steve Jobs himself tells 3 inspiring stories (Stanford university 2005) (TIME 14.33 Miss your date, cancel your shooting, but do not miss Steve Jobs.)

To read the transcript click here


We appreciate your comments.

l-arginine-erectile-dysfunction

L-arginine and ED

Erectile dysfunction [1] and

Treatment with L-arginine

Is L-arginine
1. Effective [3]in
Treatment of Erectile Dysfunctions ?

2. Mechanism of Action of L-arginine

Is L-arginine Effective

Early studies have shown that arginine supplements may help treat erectile dysfunction (ED) in men with low nitrate levels in their blood or urine. A combination of L-arginine, glutamate, and yohimbine hydrochloride has been used to treat ED - states Medline Plus. However, because a combination product was used, and yohimbine hydrochloride is an FDA-approved therapy for this condition, the effects of arginine alone are unknown. More research is needed with arginine alone.

Mechanism of Action

L-arginine is Precursor to nitric oxide (NO), [2] a key component of endothelial-derived relaxing factor, an endogenous messenger molecule involved in a variety of endothelium-dependent physiological effects in the cardiovascular system
L-arginine is a protein amino acid present in the proteins of all life forms. It is classified as a semi-essential or conditionally essential amino acid. This means that under normal circumstances the body can synthesize sufficient L-arginine to meet physiological demands.

What are the natural dietary sources of L-arginine?
How safe is L-arginine?


Sources

[1]medlineplus
This information is derived from evidence based professional level monograph edited and peer-reviewed by contributors to the Natural Standard Research Collaboration (www.naturalstandard.com):
Title
Arginine (L-arginine)
February 01, 2008.
[2]L arginine club natural
no date title Arginine dosage and other topics
L Arginine Club Natural 1 Tablet750 mg
accessed February 13, 2009

[3]Universal's Enlarge
L-Arginine 500mg ™
customercare@universalmedicare.com
contact ccustomer care
tel.no.
022 66478484

inspiring-stories-steve-jobs-apple-computers

Specially Forwarded as Gift from
a dear Friend in University of Arizona

Steve Jobs Tells 3 Inspiring Stories

Thank you. I'm honored to be with you today for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told, I never graduated from college and this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.


Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first six months but then stayed around as a drop-in for another eighteen months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife, except that when I popped out, they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking, "We've got an unexpected baby boy. Do you want him?" They said, "Of course." My biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college.

This was the start in my life. And seventeen years later, I did go to college, but I naïvely chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and no idea of how college was going to help me figure it out, and here I was, spending all the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out, I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms. I returned Coke bottles for the five-cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example.
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer was beautifully hand-calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and sans-serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me, and we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts, and since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them.

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on that calligraphy class and personals computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.

Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever--because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.

My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky. I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents' garage when I was twenty. We worked hard and in ten years, Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees. We'd just released our finest creation, the Macintosh, a year earlier, and I'd just turned thirty, and then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew, we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so, things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge, and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our board of directors sided with him, and so at thirty, I was out, and very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down, that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure and I even thought about running away from the Valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me. I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I'd been rejected but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods in my life. During the next five years I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world's first computer-animated feature film, "Toy Story," and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.

In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT and I returned to Apple and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance, and Lorene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful-tasting medicine but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life's going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle.

My third story is about death. When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important thing I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctors' code for "prepare to die." It means to try and tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next ten years to tell them, in just a few months. It means to make sure that everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope, the doctor started crying, because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and, thankfully, I am fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept. No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don't want to die to get there, and yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now, the new is you. But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it's quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalogue, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stuart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late Sixties, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and Polaroid cameras. it was sort of like Google in paperback form thirty-five years before Google came along. I was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stuart and his team put out several issues of the The Whole Earth Catalogue, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-Seventies and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath were the words, "Stay hungry, stay foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. "Stay hungry, stay foolish." And I have always wished that for myself, and now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay hungry, stay foolish.

Thank you all, very much.

---

Find Same Transcript here

l-arginine-libido-treatment-diet

Nutritional Supplement in treatment of Erectile Dysfunction and Male Libido.

Diet Supplements
for
Increasing Sexual Desire and Erection in Men

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

"Early studies have shown that arginine supplements may help treat erectile dysfunction (ED) in men with low nitrate levels in their blood or urine."- reports MedlinePlus in [1] discussion on patient and arginine.

What does Arginine do?

L-arginine (also called as Arginine) is believed to
(A) increase sexual desire, thus making it a libido enhancer. L-arginine is widely used as treatment for male libido as sexual enhancer.
Now it is being used as supplement in
(B) Treatment of Erectile Dysfunction too.

MEN SEXUAL HEALTH

Research Study

A combination of L-arginine, glutamate, and yohimbine hydrochloride has been used to treat ED. However, because a combination product was used, and yohimbine hydrochloride is an FDA-approved therapy for this condition, the effects of arginine alone are unknown. More research is needed with arginine alone.

Availability

L-arginine is sold as L Arginine Club Natural [3]where 1 Tablet contains 750 mg L-Arginine

L-Arginine is available in India as Enlalarge ™ [5].
Enlalarge ™ is a softgel® containing 500 mg of L-Arginine.
Enlalarge ™ is made by UniversalMedicare in technical collaboration with GELLTEC INC. USA

WOMEN SEXUAL HEALTH

L-arginine is not used for increasing female libido (libido = sexual desire) .

NATURAL (HERBAL) TREATMENT / NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENTS

What L-Arginine is not:

L-Arginine is not multivitamin. It is a one of the supplementary amino acid (amino acids make protein, not vitamin)

What is Arginine:

Arginine is a conditionally essential amino acid, meaning most of the time it can be manufactured by the human body, and does not need to be obtained directly through the diet. [4] However, this does not produce sufficient arginine, and some must still be consumed through diet by individuals who have poor nutrition or certain physical conditions.

HERBAL TREATMENT
Male sexual enhancement

L-arginine increases male libido and helps in treatment of Erectile Dysfunction.
L-arginine, the sexual enhancer for men, is herbal treatment or diet supplement now becoming popular as medicine used as add on for cure of Erectile Dysfunction.

We would like to know diet supplement that contains L-Arginine so that we may as well eat L-Arginine. What are the Diet/Food supplements to give men this sexual enhancer by healthy diet/food.

Foods Containing Arginine
Vegetarian

walnut=Akrod
almonds =Badam,
peanuts = Shengdane,
cashew nuts =Kaju,
raisins =Manukay,
brown rice=polish n kelele tandul,
chocholate,
coconut =khobra,
Cereals = Dhanya,
Oats =Nachani,
Corn =Kanis,
Wheat and wheat flour =Gahu va ghavachay peeth,
Cooked Soyabeans =Shijawalele soyaben
Dairy Products = Dudh wa Dudhapasun banavilele sarva padharth,


Non-vegetarian

Sea Fish = Samudratlay Masay,
Lobster= Khekada,
chicken,
meat =Mutton

FOODS CONTAINING ARGININE

Dietary Supplement of Arginine [1] [2] [4]

(This information is based on a professional level monograph edited and peer-reviewed)

*Walnuts, filberts (hazelnuts), pecans, Brazil nuts, sesame and sunflower seeds, brown rice, raisins, coconut, gelatin, buckwheat, almonds, barley, cashews, cereals, chicken, chocolate, corn, dairy products, meats, oats, peanuts.[1]

*The natural sources of arginine are brown rice, nuts, popcorn, raisins, and whole-wheat products. [2]

* Animal sources: dairy products (e.g. cottage cheese, ricotta, milk, yogurt, whey protein drinks), beef, pork (e.g. bacon, ham), poultry (e.g. chicken and turkey light meat), wild game (e.g. pheasant, quail), seafood (e.g. halibut, lobster, salmon, shrimp, snails, tuna in water)[4]

* Vegetable sources: wheat germ and flour, buckwheat, granola, oatmeal, nuts (coconut, pecans, cashews, walnuts, almonds, Brazil nuts, hazelnuts, pinenuts, peanuts), seeds (pumpkin, sesame, sunflower), chick peas, cooked soybeans


Source

[1] MedlinePlus

February 01, 2008.

This information is based on a professional level monograph

[2]
L-Arginine

Title L-Arginiine

Url http://www.l-arginine.net/

Copyright © 2003 www.l-arginine.net, All rights reserved.

Statement contained within this web site have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[3]
Title: Arginine dosage and other topics

URL: http://www.yohimbebark.net/arginine.html

Date: No date
[4] Wikipedia
[5] L-Arginine 500mg ™
Enlalarge ™
customercare@universalmedicare.com
contact ccustomer care tel no 022 66478484

prostate-gland

Prostate Cancer is 2nd only to skin cancer

Men Sexual Health

Prostate

• what is prostate
• prostate cancer
• benign hyperplasia of Prostate
• Causes and Symptoms
• Diagnosis of Prostate Cancer
• Screening
• Tumor Markers
• Treatment Options

what is prostate?
Along with the testicles and the seminal vesicles, the prostate secretes the fluid that makes up semen. The prostate is about the size of a walnut and lies just behind the urinary bladder.

Prostate cancer is a disease in which cells of the prostate become abnormal and start to grow uncontrollably, forming tumors.[g]

Cancerous cells within the prostate itself are generally not deadly on their own.

Most common sites for prostate cancer to metastasize are the seminal vesicles, the lymph nodes, the lungs, and various bones around the hips and the pelvic region. The effects of these new tumors are what can cause death.


Second only to skin cancer, the American Cancer Society estimates that in 2000 at least 180,400 new cases of prostate cancer were diagnosed. Of this number, the disease will cause at least 31,900 deaths. Although prostate cancer is often very slow growing, it can be aggressive, especially in younger men. Given its slow growing nature, many men with the disease die of other causes rather than from the cancer itself.

Prostate cancer affects African-American men twice as often as white men
— Lata Cherath; Michelle Johnson, MS, JD
Early prostate cancer

It was reported in April 2007 that a new blood test for early prostate cancer antigen-2 (EPCA-2) is being researched that may alert men if they have prostate cancer and how aggressive it will be.[a][b]

One herbal compound that was under investigation by the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM)a mixture of eight herbs adapted from traditional Chinese medicine.Food and Drug Administration (FDA) determined that samples of the product were contaminated with undeclared prescription drug ingredients. PC-SPES was withdrawn from the American market in late 2002.


PSA levels may increase after ejaculation. Men are recommended to abstain from sexual intercourse or masturbation for 48 hours before the test. PSA levels may also increase after prostate manipulation following the digital rectal exam


Tumor markers [tumor markers tumor marker levels sometimes help to determine the extent of cancer.]

Monitoring cancer treatment is the most common use of tumor markers.
. PCA3 mRNA is expressed almost exclusively by prostate cells and has been shown to be highly over-expressed in prostate cancer cells. PCA3 is not a replacement for PSA but an additional tool to help decide if, in men suspected of having prostate cancer, a biopsy is really needed. The higher the expression of PCA3 in urine, the greater the likelihood of a positive biopsy, i.e. the presence of cancer cells in the prostate. Company Diagnocure has an exclusive worldwide license for all diagnostic and therapeutic applications related to PCA3
http://www.answers.com/topic/alternative-medicine
[c]
[d]
[e]image
[f]
[g]
source
http://www.answers.com/topic/prostate-cancer#cite_note-pmid17437801-79

jokes-by-celebrity-men-women

The wit of celebrities like Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Dave Barry, Roseanne and others is irresistible. Have a taste of it.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-Billy Crystal

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
-Roseanne

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
-Dave Barry

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
-Elayne Boosler

I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't know when I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job and I don't want it.
-Bill Cosby

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-Lewis Grizzard

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
-Elayne Boosler

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-George Carlin

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
-Jeff Foxworthy

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
-Robin Williams

Source
Celebrity Quotes - One Liners Jokes