jokes-men-women-oscar

The clearest explanation for the failure of any marriage[4]


is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. Anna Quindlen
[3]

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Men

"No man is rich enough to buy back his past."

"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."

"Men become old, but they never become good."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"I delight in men over seventy, they always offer one the devotion of a lifetime. "
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"How many men there are in modern life who would like to see their past burning to white ashes before them!"
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is invariably plain."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"Nowadays all the married men live like bachelors and all the bachelors live like married men."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I don't like compliments, and I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn't mean."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

Women

"One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"Men know life too early. Women know life too late. That is the difference between men and women."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."
-- “The Sphinx Without a Secret”

"It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"I don't know that women are always rewarded for being charming. I think they are usually punished for it!"
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"I don't think there is a woman in the world who would not be a little flattered if one made love to her. It is that which makes women so irresistibly adorable."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"My dear young lady, there was a great deal of truth, I dare say, in what you said, and you looked very pretty while you said it, which is much more important."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Women give to men the very gold of their lives. But they invariably want it back in such very small change."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I am sick of women who love one. Women who hate one are much more interesting."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”
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Men Women

[2]

[5]

1. Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
2. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
3. Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
4. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
5. If we men married the woman we deserve, we should have a very tedious time of it.
6. In married life three is company and two is none.
7. A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
8. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
9. Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
10. As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
11. A woman will flirt with anyone in the world, so long as other women are looking on.
12. She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
13. A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

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People

"People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately."
-- Letter from Paris, dated May 1900

"The more one analyses people, the more all reasons for analysis disappear. Sooner of later one comes to that dreadful universal thing called human nature."
-- “The Decay of Lying”

"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing."
-- “The Soul of Man Under Socialism”

"Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualification."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

Born:16th October 1854, Died: on 30th November 30, 1900.
Full Name: Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie
Parents: His mother Jane was a poet, while his father, Sir William Wilde, was prominent Irish surgeon. Both parents were prolific authors so it was no surprise that he inherited such literary talent.
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Life

"Life is much too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it."
-- “Vera, of The Nihilists”

"The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden. It ends with Revelations."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Life is never fair...And perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"You must not find symbols in everything you see. It makes life impossible."
-- “Salome”

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."
-- “The Duchess of Padua”

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

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_Love

"Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman - or the want of it in the man."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"A kiss may ruin a human life."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"Young men want to be faithful and are not; old men want to be faithless and cannot."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect - simply a confession of failures."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

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Source
[1]The Official Website
The Official Web Site of Oscar Wilde
[2]guy-sports.com

[3]Timeless Relationship Wisdom
http://historyofwit.blogspot.com/2005/04/timeless-relationship-wisdom.html
posted by Dorion Sagan

[4]Oscars lining up - Flickr
All rights reserved Anyone can see this photo
* Taken with a Sony DSC-N1.
More properties
* Taken on February 8, 2006
jclushlife's photostream

[5]Oscar statue Image credit copyright
WatchinDworldGoBy' s photostream
All rights reserved Anyone can see this photo
* Taken on September 2, 2008


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