jokes-men-women-oscar

The clearest explanation for the failure of any marriage[4]
oscar wilde beats all oscars in one liners jokes

is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. Anna Quindlen
[3]

º MEN º WOMEN ºMEN WOMEN º PEOPLE º LIFE º LOVE


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Men



"No man is rich enough to buy back his past."

"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."

"Men become old, but they never become good."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"I delight in men over seventy, they always offer one the devotion of a lifetime. "
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"How many men there are in modern life who would like to see their past burning to white ashes before them!"
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is invariably plain."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"Nowadays all the married men live like bachelors and all the bachelors live like married men."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I don't like compliments, and I don't see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says to her a whole heap of things that he doesn't mean."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

Women



"One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"Men know life too early. Women know life too late. That is the difference between men and women."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."
-- “The Sphinx Without a Secret”

"It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”

"I don't know that women are always rewarded for being charming. I think they are usually punished for it!"
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"I don't think there is a woman in the world who would not be a little flattered if one made love to her. It is that which makes women so irresistibly adorable."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"My dear young lady, there was a great deal of truth, I dare say, in what you said, and you looked very pretty while you said it, which is much more important."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Women give to men the very gold of their lives. But they invariably want it back in such very small change."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I am sick of women who love one. Women who hate one are much more interesting."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to."
-- “Lady Windermere's Fan”
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Men Women


[2]

[5]
  1. Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.
  2. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
  3. Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
  4. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
  5. If we men married the woman we deserve, we should have a very tedious time of it.
  6. In married life three is company and two is none.
  7. A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.
  8. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
  9. Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
  10. As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
  11. A woman will flirt with anyone in the world, so long as other women are looking on.
  12. She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman.
  13. A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

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People



"People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately."
-- Letter from Paris, dated May 1900

"The more one analyses people, the more all reasons for analysis disappear. Sooner of later one comes to that dreadful universal thing called human nature."
-- “The Decay of Lying”

"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing."
-- “The Soul of Man Under Socialism”

"Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualification."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”


Born:16th October 1854, Died: on 30th November 30, 1900.
Full Name: Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie
Parents: His mother Jane was a poet, while his father, Sir William Wilde, was prominent Irish surgeon. Both parents were prolific authors so it was no surprise that he inherited such literary talent.
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Life



"Life is much too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it."
-- “Vera, of The Nihilists”

"The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden. It ends with Revelations."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"Life is never fair...And perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"You must not find symbols in everything you see. It makes life impossible."
-- “Salome”

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."
-- “The Duchess of Padua”

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

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Love



"Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman - or the want of it in the man."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."
-- “An Ideal Husband”

"A kiss may ruin a human life."
-- “A Woman of No Importance”

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"Young men want to be faithful and are not; old men want to be faithless and cannot."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

"Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect - simply a confession of failures."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”


º MEN º WOMEN ºMEN WOMEN º PEOPLE º LIFE º LOVE


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Source
[1]The Official Website
The Official Web Site of Oscar Wilde
[2]guy-sports.com

[3]Timeless Relationship Wisdom
http://historyofwit.blogspot.com/2005/04/timeless-relationship-wisdom.html
posted by Dorion Sagan

[4]Oscars lining up - Flickr
All rights reserved Anyone can see this photo
* Taken with a Sony DSC-N1.
More properties
* Taken on February 8, 2006
jclushlife's photostream

[5]Oscar statue Image credit copyright
WatchinDworldGoBy' s photostream
All rights reserved Anyone can see this photo
* Taken on September 2, 2008


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15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, my partner and I had protected sex, and he ejaculated. Possibly a little less than an hour later, he took the condom off and we started messing around again. He didn't go and urinate in between. He had pre cum on his penis, and rubbed it on my vagina and a little inside it..then stuck his penis completely in a time or two. Could this get me pregnant? Would he still have sperm on his penis from the condom? Thanks

Mak said...

What are the drug available in market to increase sexual urge of women instantly. something like vaigra for female. which can result in better response and in participation.

Unknown said...

dr i am 26 year old santosh at the time of sex i could not do my sex long time with in one minute my sex done pls help me

Unknown said...

Hello Santosh,
See these Sex Files.
This tells you almost everything that you want to know. The treatment of premature ejaculation, with medicines and without medicines.

1

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2007/11/premature-ejaculation.html



2a

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2008/09/premature-ejaculation-precum-4.html


2 b

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2007/12/erection-picture-animated.html



Download the animated image.


3

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2008/02/premature-ejaculation-2.html



4

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2008/02/premature-ejaculation-3.html



5

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2007/10/no-insertion-of-penis-during-sex.html



6

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2008/06/do-i-have-premature-ejaculation.html


Please read this carefully.

Thenlet me know if you have any additional questions or issues.
Best regards,
Dr. Ashok Koparday MBBS FCSEPI
Consultant PsychoSexual Medicine

Unknown said...

Hello Mak,

Men often ask for medicines or tips for increasing sexual desire in their partner.

You get common person's point of view in 1.
and what the doctor tells in 2. 3. 4. 5.

1

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2009/03/howt-to-increase-womans-sexual-desire.html


2
You will be surprised to know how common this problem is [40%]

http://mysexdoctor.blogspot.com/2009/01/female-sexual-problem-causing-distress.html


3

What medicines are available? MYDOCTORTELLS

http://mydoctortells.com/medicine-for-women-to-increase-sex-desire/


4
TIPS ABOUT FEMALE ORGASM

5
Some more interesting research study about sexual desire in women.


Please let me know if you have any additional questions or issues.

Dr. Ashok Koparday

Anonymous said...

santosh said...

dr iam 26 year old. at the time of sex i could not do long time sex i had been satisfied before my wife satisfaction

(First Asked on:February 19, 2009 1:30 PM)

Anonymous said...

dear doctor.i missed my period for two months already.the thing is,my boyfriend and i,we havent had any sort of intercourse.maybe i had swalloewd his semen and maybe he had fingered me.the thing im worried about is pregnancy caused by secondary transfer.i took a home pregnancy test a few weeks after the incident,and it showed no sign of a pregnancy.my period is irregular,but it hasnt been like this ever before.im dead worried.my friends are scaring me about the secondary transfer pregnancy.im dead worried since im still young and that im under a scholarship.

plz help.

-worried girl-

Unknown said...

To
worried girl,

You have had no periods for 2 months.
"...my period is irregular,but it hasnt been like this ever before..."

The pregnancy test shows no pregnancy.

WHY ARE MY PERIODS DELAYED? I AM DEAD WORRIED?
"...im dead worried..."

You are not getting periods due to extreme fear.

Menstrual cycles (periods) depend upon cyclic change in Estrogen and Progesterone hormones.
-->
These hormones are governed by the pituitary gland, the queen of all endocrine glands.
The pituitary gland is directly connected
-->
to hypothalamus of the brain.

This physiological chain shows how strong emotions affect periods.

The FRIGHT itself is the culprit.
Pregnancy is not caused by swallowing semen.

WHAT DO I DO?
Repeat Urine Pregnancy Test, which will give you TOTAL CONFIDENCE that you have no pregnancy.

When girls want to postpone periods
Family Physician gives them pills. After the prescribed dose girl gets withdrawal bleeding (menses).

Go to your Family doctor and ask for medicines, which will bring periods.

(Since your earlier cycles were irregular the doctor will see no reason to examine or take detailed history. In a matter of minutes you get the prescription.)

Take the medicine as advised and you begin getting your periods.

(Family members know that periods earlier have been irregular. Hence, there is no need to hide the fact that you have not got periods for 2 months.)

In other words, unless YOU TELL THEM ABOUT SEXUAL INTIMACY no one will link it to your delayed menses.

....my friends are scaring me.."
Tell your friends to read useful topics on this blog so that they help others by correct scientific knowledge.

Please let me know if you have any additional questions or issues.

COOL
Dr. Ashok Koparday

Anonymous said...

Dr. Kathy McGuire said...

Yea for Sex Doctor for seeing the value of expressing tears of sadness. For many free articles on "Why Cry?", including research on tears of wonder/awe/joy, see my blog. For free mini-course on Intimacy, including Equalizing Sexual Desire, Tantra, Sacred Spot Massage, Erotic Massage, Intimate Communication, go to Category Core Concepts, then choose Intimacy. And for many free articles on The Meaning of Tears, and how to use Intuitive Focusing to deepen your experiences of tears of wonder/joy/awe, as well as tears of sadness, choose Category Free Resources, then Articles. My website offers many free downloads about learning the basic self-help skills, Intuitive Focusing and Focused Listening, that apply to creativity, spirituality, intimacy, and even creative problem solving and conflict resolution at work.

March 18, 2009 9:14 PM

Anonymous said...

Hi I had sex last night and the condom split but we didn't realise until afterwards. I checked my contraceptive pill and i had forgotten to take it yesterday, I took it straight away after realising and got the morning after pill to be on the safe side which was taken about 6hours after the incident. How likely is it that I shall be pregnant as I am still worrying.

Thank you

Unknown said...

To

"_ _ _I had sex last night and the condom split_ _ _"
" _ _ _contraceptive pill and i had forgotten to take it yesterday_ _ _"

Take two pills the next day, not one.
"_ _ _morning after pill_ _ _"
"_ _ _
shall be pregnant as I am still worrying._ _ _"

REPLY
Pregnancy is most unlikely.
Reasons:

1.
You were (I believe) taking oral contraceptive pills daily and the forgotten pill was taken within 24 hours.
Take two pills the next day, not one.
There is little likelihood of ovulation occurring if only one or two tablets are missed.

2.
EMERGENCY HORMONE CONTRACEPTION
(Also called Morning After Pill, Post Coital Pill or EC Pill)


The first dose of morning after pill containing Levonorgestrel 750 μg is to be taken withing 72 hours of unprotected sex and second dose of 750 μg is to be taken 12 hours later. Now Emergency Contraceptive Pill or morning after pill can be taken 750 μg + 750 μg = 1.5 mg as a single dose within 72 hours of the unprotected sexual act.

Apparently you have taken the morning after pill 6 hours after the sex.

RESULT
You will most likely get withdrawal bleeding as you usually get when on regular pill.

3. UPT
If you do not get periods as expected to be totally free from worry you must do urine pregnancy test.

CHECK
The oral contraceptive pill you are taking contains either levonorgestrel or norgestrel.

ADDITIONAL TIP
Two tablets of usual Oral Contraceptive Pills (that contains either levonorgestrel 750 μg or norgestrel 0.1 mg.) taken 72 hours apart does the same function as Emergency Contraceptive Pill.

Dr. Ashok Koparday

Unknown said...

Mak asked: What are the drug available in market to increase sexual urge of women instantly?

Reply:
TESTOSTERONE based medicines increase libido in women.

Testosterone-laden ointment called LibiGel intended to boost the libido of women is under study at Uva.
Also see non hormonal methods as appeared in THE TIMES OF INDIA, suggested by actress Kim Sharma.

Dr. Ashok Koparday

Unknown said...

Hi im 26yr old girl and i used to maustrabte myself sometime,butfrom last 1month im not having my mense on time as ther were before.i dont have any sex yet,wts the problem.hepl me im very worried about it.

Anonymous said...

is it possible to get a full erection an ejaculation with no testicles? I still have mine,but they are disconnected presently. Was thinking about having them removed. thanks for information

Anonymous said...

is milk safe to use in the vagina? i know you shouldnt use sugar based things because it will increase possibility of getting a yeast infection, but is there anything wrong with milk? will it do anything to his penis? (dont need to know about the effects on condoms). what home foods/liquids are safe to put in the vagina?

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