what-married-men-really-want-to-say

Can you face it?
This is what the married men really want to say to their wives.

Did you say you are a real head ache?
Take Tylenol [Paracetamol]

Did you say if some one else was in my place she would have left you?
Be the some one else for me, please.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.

Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Check your oil.

It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

Who the hell is Monica? She is just a moaning low paid secretary.

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ASK THE DOCTOR

how-to-manage-husband-2

Do you think men are unpredictable?
Husbands are the same. Only their faces are different so that we can recognize which one is ours.
Why not learn some skills to handle your hubby so that your relationSHIP sails smooooothly.

I will not give you here a thick fat book, which is more difficult to read than it is to manage a husband. I am presenting here some simple, yet powerful tips that can be implemented immediately.
THE MIDAS TOUCH

1
Do not start husband improvement program even though he does things that annoy you. Like he scatters newspapers and has not been taught even the basics of tidiness by his mother.
2
You are right. He should be buying the clock well wrapped in gift paper for the next day's wedding ceremony. Whose wedding was it? His friend's. Who is irresponsible here? Did I not remind him this afternoon from my office? Now, you both had agreed upon the gift. He himself said that his friend was notorious for not keeping time and even went forth saying, "I wonder if he will be in time for his wedding muhurat". Hence, I suggested giving him a clock that speaks in human voice when the alarm is set. I wish it could pinch him too.
GOLDEN RULE
Yet you will not yell at him. Why burst your voice machine?
Politely remind him. No shade of anger in your voice. Hence, you do not make him feel guilty.
Now, look at how he cajoles his colleague and persuades him to get the stuff at the wedding hall, in time. When the wedding gift finally arrives you notice the sigh of relief on his face. Now is the time to say, "Wow! You, after all, managed to get it. Smart!" Look at the triumph on his face.
MORAL OF THE STORY IS
Do what you can to the best of your ability.
Do not overstretch yourself.
Do not play the blame game. It bounces back. If you do, you will have to play table tennis with the blame ball all your life.
SECRET used here.
The GUY (even if he is a nut) feels proud when he accomplishes difficult task.
It does not matter if he himself makes the task difficult. We are going to use this powerful SECRET as I have described below.
3
If you want him to do something for you, do not reason out why he should be doing it. Do not tell him how you suffer because you have to manage alone your own office, kids, his parents, and home. Do not be a cry baby. Do not be a smart blame master (Misses).
Request him.

Use the words, 'Please', 'Thanks', 'Sorry', liberally. You do not have to mean that you are sorry. These three words make your work easy.
Dr. Ashok Koparday

BE POLITE. USE KIND WORDS whenever you want him to do something.
If you know his latency period is 2 days, that is he does the said work 2 days after having agreed to do, than be wise enough to tell him at least 2 days in advance how badly you need to get the thing done and no one else can do it. He is gifted, you know.
4
Offer GENUINE PRAISE about any thing that you like about him. It could be his way of choosing garments for you when he behaves like an ATM. You can boast about this at any party to your friends, when you are sure he can listen.
One other SECRET that is at play here is 'He wants to be looked up as a hero by his spouse. He reaches pinnacle of satisfaction

Sincere appreciation of any aspect of your husband is your key to winning him over.
I know you are muttering that you have not found any thing worth appreciating in the last 5 years. Search for some quality that you can appreciate. Make a beginning to make your life better.
Dr. Ashok Koparday

when he knows that his wife really respects him and loves him. Whenever this does not get conveyed the husband kind of homo sapiens try to impress by doing things that do not really matter to you. They may become workaholics. They may want to rise to higher position in the company or get higher and higher income. While doing all this he has no time for his wife. He has no time for his kids. They are growing and their growth cannot wait. When they grow up, how will they respond to a father who is namesake?
5
Pursue your hobbies, things you cherished doing when you were at college, but never had the time to do it. This will give you immense joy and you will not have to be at the mercy of your husband. Your cribbing at him will be much much less. This hobby, or learning of art that comes from your heart will be your solace till the end. It can nurture entire family (including the hubby) and even support people in community. If she does not know to tap in to this reservoir she becomes sad and inconsolable. Her resentment to bitter resentment towards her husband becomes solid like cement, no, like steel. She may begin to have ailments.

Woman kind of the homo sapiens have collosal energy reservoir and they are more capable of staying connected to the infinite source of energy that has been propelling Nature since eternity.


Please address your Questions to
ask@mydoctortells.com.

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sex-cancer-2

Lesley Fallowfield, a professor of psycho-oncology at Sussex University, said that because sex is a particularly important way for young couples to cement their relationship, a cancer diagnosis that affects a couple's sex life might be very damaging.


'Certain cancers mean more divorces'
27 Sep 2007, 1357 hrs IST , AP
People who develop cervical or testicular cancer may face another harsh reality: they are more likely to get divorced, a new study says.

Women with cervical cancer had a 40 per cent higher chance of getting divorced than other women.

In research presented on Thursday at a meeting of the European Cancer Organisation, Norwegian experts found that women with cervical cancer had a 40 per cent higher chance of getting divorced than other women.

Men with testicular cancer were 20 per cent more likely to get divorced than similar men without cancer. Both types of cancer are curable and mainly affect young people.
"Sex could have something to do with this," said Lesley Fallowfield, a professor of psycho-oncology at Sussex University who was not connected to the study. "If men and women with cervical or testicular cancer aren't having sex with their partners, that may be a problem."

For nearly two decades, the study looked at 2.8 million people in Norway, comparing the divorce rates of 215,000 cancer survivors to those in couples with no cancer.
Shortcoming of the study:
They did not ask couples about the reasons for the divorces, but only looked at marriage and divorce registration data.
"It seems to be worse for your marriage to get cancer early," said Astri Syse, an epidemiologist at the Norwegian Cancer Registry who led the study. But Syse said that it was only cervical and testicular cancer that produced a spike in divorces. Other types of cancer did not result in more divorces.

7 out of 10 women DO NOT LEAVE their husbands though they have cancer of testis at age 20 years

7 out of 10 men leave their wives who have cancer of the lower part of womb at 20 years age

Age 20 years with Cervical Cancer in Women 69 %
Age 20 years with Testicular Cancer in Men 34 %

Normal husbands in Norway who divorce even at 60 year age 16 %

(Little less than women)

Normal wives divorce even at 60 years 19 %

Age also helped. At age 20, women were 69 per cent more likely to get divorced if they had cervical cancer. But by age 60, that risk dropped to 19 per cent. The same trend was seen in men with testicular cancer. At 20, men with testicular cancer had an increased divorce risk of 34 per cent. That fell to 16 per cent for men aged 60.

Experts thought that the break-ups could be due both to the cancers, and to the youth of the couples involved. Older couples might be more committed to each other and less likely to get divorced even when faced with a life-threatening disease.

Fallowfield said that couples affected by cancer early on in their marriage might be more likely to divorce if they had not yet had children, or if the illness caused financial hardship.

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