After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me
to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.
She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman
loves you and would Love to spend
some time with you.'
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been
a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had
made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner
and a movie. 'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked? My mother is the type
of woman who suspects
that a late night call or a surprise invitation
is a sign of bad news.
'I thought that it would be pleasant to spend
some time with you,' I responded 'just the two of us.' She thought about it
for a moment, and then said,
'I would like that very much.'
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.
When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous
about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her
hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last
wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
angel's.
'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were
impressed,' she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear
about our meeting.'
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant,
was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm
as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu.
Her eyes could only read large print. Half-way through the entrees, I
lifted my eyes and saw Mother
sitting there staring at me.
A nostalgic smile was on her lips.
'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said.
'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.
During the dinner , we had an agreeable conversation nothing extraordinary
but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much
that we
missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out
with you again, but only if
you let me invite you.' I agreed.
'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice, much
more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so
suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Sometime
later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the
same place Mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill
in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but, nevertheless, I paid
for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never
know what that night meant for me.
'I love you, son'
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I love YOU'
and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is
more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because
these things cannot be put off till some 'other' time.
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've
had a baby... somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is
history.
Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the
first... somebody doesn't have
two or more children.
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and
delivery....somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first
day of kindergarten... or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
Somebody said a Mother can stop worrying after her child gets married...
somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother's heartstrings.
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home...
somebody never had grandchildren.
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell
her... somebody isn't a mother.
Pass this along to all the GREAT 'mothers' in your life and to everyone who
ever had a mother.
This isn't just about being a mother; it's about appreciating the people in
your lives while you have them... no matter who that person is!
Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes...
your destiny.
'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet
is fighting some kind of battle'.
Dr. Ashok Koparday
MBBS, FC SEPI
Medical Director
Samadhan India
Center for Therapy, Education, Research in
Sex, Marriage, Relationships
Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College and K. E. M. Hospital and
Grant Medical College and Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals
University of Mumbai, India
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